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> I really want her daughter to be there
Then what’s the dilemma? Your friend sounds like a spoiled, snooty little princess who doesn’t take responsibility for her actions and expects everyone to cater to her (e.g. expecting you to make the first move toward reparation when you’re not at any fault)… maybe it’s time to do some soul searching and seriously reevaluate the “friendship” if she’s going to act like that to you; but if you really want her daughter there, then send the invite. [Personally, I'd send it in her daughter's name, too.] Good friends weather any storm, so if it’s meant to be, she’ll be there.